Camping

I wish we were still there. Such a great time camping, exploring, hiking, cooking, talking, and playing games. We found a great place to go that is less that 2 hours away. Easy access to the site and at the same time you feel so far from it all. We were in Sunapee, NH at the Mt. Sunapee Camp Ground.

The weather was great, sunny, and warm during day and cool enough at night to have to wear a hat. We set up camp pretty easily with our ten person tent, coolers, cook stove, sleeping bags for 10 and various sports equipment.

A hike up Mt Kearsage, another up Mt Sunapee, picnic lunch on the Lake, a penny candy shop in the harbor, charades in the morning, yummy dinners cooked at the camp, playing "3 things" around the fire along while eating popcorn and roasting marshmallows. Ah, the simplicity. The need to work together for firewood, cleaning dishes, cooking, set up and break down is so uniting.

One of the kids stated it perfectly. "Mom we do this stuff not because you tell us to, or because we will get something if we do, but because we know we have to in order to survive. It means so much more and it is fun!"

Soapbox Derby

The pictures tell most of the story. Our town's second annual Soapbox Derby. We modified that car from last year a bit, so that it was not so top heavy. We also put a governor on it to prevent over-steering.

No crashes by us this year. Very fun. And we even jumped in to race. Love this simple, old fashion stuff.

Homework, Homework, Homework.....UUUGGGHHH!

We are in full blown school mode now. You know how I know this? Well, I am already looking forward to vacation. The kids are coming home with homework, projects, field trip forms, classroom wish lists, conference requests, holiday party requirements, etc., etc., etc.. I once heard a talk by a person named, John P. ("Jack") Blessington. He is a business person turned educator with specific experience in Montessori education. His speech was about how children learn and how society needs to continually review the way we teach our children given the changing demands on parents, communities, society, the nation and the world. The process of education is something that cannot be static. What worked in the 50's or 60's may not work in the 70'. What worked in the 80's may not work in this decade.

He also spoke of his experience with homework and the lack of empirical statistical evidence, that homework helps to improve the intellect, knowledge and academic experience of a child. Now, at first I raised an eyebrow, having been educated by nuns who poured it on as if our after school time was endless; purgatory prep, I always thought. Anyway, I listened.

At the time, I think that I had 2 or 3 kids who were in their preschool years. So homework was not on my radar. Even so, something he said really resonated with me. Although a bit radical to pitch, he explained that when kids are in school the environment, expectations, resources, and overall support is pretty much the the same for each kid. When kids leave school, all that changes. Whether the after school environment is some sort of after school care or at home, things are different for each child. To have the same homework deliverable, expected for each child is not realistic and can in fact create low self esteem and anxiety. Children become acutely aware of how their homework is "different" than their peers. As an extreme example, imagine an only child with a stay-at-home parent able to give 90 to 100% attention to their child for his homework. Now imagine another child who comes home to a single working parent with 3 children who all need help. In each circumstance, each child's environment and resources are different. How can we expect the same "homework" performance for each?

Now he went on to explain that some "homework" is of course necessary: math facts, independent reading, etc.; those that do not need much, if any assistance.

Last year my two third graders had teachers who went out on a limb and did an experiment the last 3 months of school. No homework. They still had to practice math facts and read for half an hour. WOW, the results. They would come home, do their family contributions (chores), get outside to burn off energy, play imaginative games, interact with each other and neighborhood kids, be ready for dinner, then bed to read and be sufficiently tired to sleep well. No begging and pleading for them to do their homework. No anxiety over getting it done. No tears because they don't get it and are actually just plain old spent. They talked about what they learned, shared things at the dinner table, and were excited to get to school the next morning.

So, were are headed off to a camping weekend in New Hampshire. Tonight, I would rather be checking the gear with the kids, thinking about what we need to bring for food, supplies, safety and fun. Planning is a process that is so valuable to learn. This is also something I would like my kids to remember and to have a vested interest. Not that they just jumped in the van and it was loaded, ready to go. Remember that they helped, thought through things, weighed the pro's and con's, laughed and had fun doing it.

Instead, homework, homework, homework, little time outside, rushed through dinner, hurry, hurry, hurry. UUUGGGHHH!

The Tooth Fairy

With out getting too deep into this one, like should we even encourage our kids to believe in yet another fictitious character that brings them things, or better yet, pays them for their teeth......
We had one of those funny moments with Evelyn last night. At our home, sometimes it can take the Tooth Fairy a few months to visit. Recently, we left her a note suggesting that she could consolidate her visits since we get on these rolls of losing teeth 2-3 times a week for several weeks in a row. The kids had the idea to give her a break and make one trip every 3 months or so. Hmmm. Good one, huh?

Evelyn lost her tooth 2 weeks ago and as of last night, still no visit. So, she decides to change it up. She writes the Tooth Fairy a long note in which she asks her about her family, life, etc.. Along with the note, she wants to leave something for her and rather than under her pillow, leave it on the kitchen table. Hmmm. Another good one, huh?

So, she then tries to think of what to leave. Something for her hair? A memento? What? She decides on treats and starts to put out candy. "Hold on", I respond, "You can't leave candy because of the special understanding that the tooth fairy and the dentist have...". "So, what should I leave?" she asks. "Leave her something to eat that's good for her," I answer. She is puzzled. She thinks for a minute. Then her face lights up and she yells, "CHICKEN!". Chicken? "Ya, let's leave her chicken!". I look at my husband, hold in the laughter and we both know we have to write this one down.

Anyway, we settled on an apple and something to drink. As it turned out, the timing was right. She came last night, ate the apple, had the drink, took the tooth, left a buck, and answered all of Evelyn's questions, along with a note of her own.

Chicken?........maybe we have been pushing the protein chicken thing a little to much, lately.

Garden Evaluation

First day of fall happened this week in New England. I think that I am one of the few around here that does not like fall (I despise winter). Although it is pretty, the ending of everything smelling beautiful and blooming and no more warm summer nights is just a plain old bummer for me.

I went out to the garden with the kids to pick the final veggies that must be harvested before the first frost or they will be no longer be edible. We dug the carrots, plucked green tomatoes, picked cucumbers that had gone crazy and climbed the tomatoes plants and counted the pumpkins that will soon turn a bright orange.

The kids began a conversation about what they liked and disliked. They talked about veggies that they want to plant again next year and new ones to try. They suggested that I write it down while it was "fresh" in our memories so that we would have something to refer to next spring.

Wow, what I good idea! Glad they thought of it. So, yes to corn, carrots, cucumbers, broccoli, basil, cilantro, tomatoes, pumpkins and lots of flowers. Far less lettuce and stagger it. No to cabbage, summer squash, zucchini. Some new ones tp try are onions, melons, winter squash, and beans.

Any other suggestions?

The First Day of School

Back to school and all seven are off to experience a new one. They were up, dressed, breakfast, lunches packed, and out the door about 45 minutes too early. I had to hold them back. Finally, after the 23rd, "is it time, yet?" we all walked (or ran) to school. In the school yard they all found their classes' meeting spots, more or less. The bell rang and off they went. No tears, no hesitation, just smiles, waves and a few "I love you's".

Home they came will all sorts of information about classmates, teachers, do's and don't's, forms (uugghh!) and stories. I listened, laughed, and had to ask a few questions, myself. A fairly seamless transition, or so I think. Some go off to play and some have homework. We have dinner together and play "high-low" (your "high" and "low" points at school). More laughter. Dessert, story and bedtime. Still no bumps, however, something doesn't seem right. I try to ignore the mother instinct and sit down at my computer to work a bit. It is 10PM.

Then I hear the foot steps. I know who it is immediately. It is Olivia: our oldest, my moral compass, the old soul, my pillar of strength, my go-to, the risk-taker. With her tears ready to pour, I say the words, "You ok, Hun? What's wrong?". She can't even speak and out they flow. On my lap I pull her tight and at the same time look over her shoulder at my computer screen and at the "to-do" list for the evening. I shut my eyes tight. She is really upset. I open them again. Sooooo much to do and still get up at 5am to run and get ahead of the kids for the day. She sniffles and shakes a bit and that pulls me back to what is important. My saying, "there are no do-overs" screams in my head. I ask if she wants me to cuddle with her in bed for a while. She says "Yes. But you have work, Mom.". It's ok, Lu. You are way more important. "But it's 10 o'clock, Mom.". Up we go to her room, with her clutching ever so tightly every bedtime lovey she could find.

As I walk up the stairs I coach myself. Don't try to fix it or change it. Just listen and mirror her. We climb into bed she spills all her concerns, worries, anxieties, frustrations and fears. And also the fact that she is angry that she is even like this. I tell I understand and mirror back all that she said. "So, you are worried about remembering everything that you have to do"...
"So, you do not think that you will relate to anyone"... "So, you are overwhelmed at all there is to take in". And so on and so on. One last sniffle and I hear her exhale. Out it came. Now she talks and talks and talks. I listen and listen and listen. She amazes me. Once it is all out, she relaxes even more. I hear some joking in her voice about her view of kids, procedures, her teacher's recount of her own embarrassing moment. I share with her my worries and anxiety when watching all of them in the school yard and we are able to joke with her about her brother George and how his only concern he was finding his teacher, locker and homeroom. "He's all business," she says. "That's George!" We laugh.

I take the risk to give advice and ask her if it is ok. I break down school into 3 areas and go through them to try to simplify it for her. Academic? No problem. You got a handle on it all and you are one of the most disciplined and organized 6th graders (and people) I know. Social? It will take some time to make friends. That is what friendship is all about. Remember, you have 3 really good friends that you have had outside of school since you were 3 years old. These are friendships you will always have no matter what happens from 8:25 to 2:55 at school. She smiles. The logistics and all the other stuff? Think about how much you know and will remember in the morning. You know your teacher and where to find your homeroom. You know where your locker is and how to open it. You now have your schedule written down and know where to go. Three things you know and probably more. She adds to the list and starts to rub my arm. "Thanks, Mom."

I make one last suggestion that she come up with a fun word or saying that she can repeat to herself if she gets overwhelmed and it will remind her of our conversation and the comfort. I say, "how about Rocky Road Ice cream." She says, "Soccer Rocks.". That's my Lu. I close my eyes and we talk a bit more. Now, I exhale and begin to fall asleep. I catch myself and tell her that I need to go to bed. It is now after 11pm. She gives me a big hug and thanks me so much. I tell her that it is me that should thank her. That she gave me yet another gift. A gift to be there for her and to feel needed. I will have that forever. As I leave the room, we both whisper at the same time "Good night. Soccer Rocks."

The 6 Year Old Birthday Party Meltdown

Well, we almost made it and I followed the 6 year old rule. Keep it under two hours, 6 kids and let them just play for most of the party. We came up with a plan: trampoline (burn off a little excitement), then face paint, then decorate cup cakes, then swingset, then make a necklace, then a short dance routine to a High School Musical 2 song. All goes great until...

10 minutes left until pick up and she is smiling, singing, twirling. We do the simple practice dance routine run-through in order to show parents and have a “ta-da” announced at the end. She says doesn’t like that, "NO ta-da". I tell everyone not to say it, at least I think I do. The parents arrive. Time to show them the routine, then it's goodie bags and DONE. Well, I did not tell everyone and there was a “ta-da” at the end. OH, NO! I goofed, I looked right at her and thought, please, please, please do not loose it. Nope. I goofed. Tears full force. She wants to go to her room and lay down. She says it’s the worst party, ever. I goofed.

Ok. So, regroup, take her out of the meltdown area, talk to her, and ground her again. I do that. Still nothing. I goofed. Food. Did she eat anything this afternoon? I goofed. Try a glass of milk. The milk goes down, kicks in and now she is embarrassed.

The guests are now scattered. I am embarrassed. I did not handle it well. I goofed. Get the guests back and try to salvage anything. They do the dance routine over again. She is smiling again, singing, twirling, dancing. Still, I goofed. She has let it go, but not me. She doesn’t really even remember it. But I do. We have all been there, right?