5 games in one day. Whooooie! It is the end of the season for 7 soccer teams, 2 baseball, 1 lacrosse, 1 softball. The coaches of each team have said a little something after each final game. We leave the cooler full of popsicles with the team and step away. We listen and watch as each child smile, proud of their accomplishments, beaming from the praise and recognition, and happy for their teammates. Each player knowing that they accompllished something... mastered something. The emphasis was not on the team's records, though they are very aware of their wins and losses. 
And it is a part of real life: not everyone wins, not everyone gets a goal, not everyone reaches first base. They are happy because they learned how to pitch or be a catcher or to handle a lacrosse stick. They mastered something. It is theirs to have forever.
Check out these sources for thoughts on the importance of mastery:
Daniel Goleman and his book Emotional Intelligence
Edward Hallowell and his book Childhood Roots to Adult Happiness
Carol Dweck and her book Mindset:; The New Psychology of Success
4 comments:
I don't envy you that really long summer holiday - though I can understand your relief at not having to pack all those lunches every day!
Thanks for stopping by my blog - nice to "meet" you.
What’s in my rearview mirror? Well that’s a bittersweet question these days. The answer is twofold: One is what WAS in my rearview mirror has now reached the 100 lb. weight requirement to sit “shotgun” and two because she’s nearly 16! What was once the bubbly, inquisitive, incessantly chatting “back-seat” passenger is now sitting in the co-pilot seat anxiously awaiting her turn to drive. Sitting there completely “plugged in” to her iPod – I have to reach over and pull out an earphone just to ask a question!
Gone are the days when there was so much fighting and nitpicking between the two of them that I’d literally pull my car over to the side of the road and pull out my book and sit and “pretend” to read while the two of them worked it out and gone are the days when some of my most meaningful conversations with my kids happened in the car. Now, it’s texting friends and listening to iTrip – my “Oldies 103” station has been hijacked by KISS108! Bye, bye Miss American Pie…..!
Oh God, how did I get this old? Am I ready? And really, is she ready?? All of these questions send me into a complete tailspin. Did I prepare her well enough? Is she kind, thoughtful, compassionate and respectful? Does she show empathy, encouragement, generosity?? Is she charitable, hospitable and considerate?? Is she a good friend and does she have a good friend? Did all of those years of saying “brush your teeth, brush your hair, clean your room, do your chores, be nice to your sister, chew with your mouth closed, say please and thank you.” Did all of that sink in?? Will she be responsible, will she make smart decisions? Can she drive on the highway? Boston? No! Never Boston! Can she get everywhere she needs to go by taking Route 127?? I find myself very grateful to the RMV for creating the law that says they can’t drive beyond midnight! For that’s the only way I’ll get some sleep!
These days I find myself looking for more creative ways to spend time with my teenager. I’ve seen some R-rated movies and television shows that embarrass me! Frequented Starbucks for some mocha, latte, coffee/chocolate whipped cream thing, dined at Panera and Bertucci’s and spent many a weeknight in the big comfy chairs perusing books at Barnes & Noble not to mention a couple one-on-one overnights to Freeport to Abercrombie and Coach outlets!
When you can no longer see anything in your rearview mirror because it’s sitting right beside you it certainly gives your ride a whole new meaning!
Thanks "katelnorth"! Ahhhh... but we love the summer. What my wife won't miss is herding the flock of sheep into the car and driving to school. During the school year, they actually make all their own lunches. My wife has the system down and they love the responsibility.
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