Commercial Free

We love to watch sports as a family, all different kinds: college hoops, professional soccer, football, college softball, and of course, the Red Sox. It is the one thing that we allow our kids to watch. We are happy about that choice. The kids love to talk about the games, the players personalities, the show-offs, the team leaders, coaches they like and colleges they think they might want to go to. Thought it was the right thing to do or let them do, until one day I heard from upstairs the boys singing a song, "Bacardi and Cola... it gets the job done!", over and over. Gosh! What the heck? Kids watching sports and these commercials... uuuugghh!

I just want them to be able to watch a ball game without these adult messages coming at them. So, I tell them that that is not a great song for them to sing. Of course, they want to know why. Not ready to have this conversation with a 9 year old and a 7 year old. I explain what the "job" is and why it is associated with alcohol. Oh, the questions fly back. Diggin' myself deeper. So, no tv or cable. Now, we just use the internet for sports, where there are no commercials. And when we can, we listen to the radio. Baseball on the radio is great!

Sports, Sports, and More Sports

5 games in one day. Whooooie! It is the end of the season for 7 soccer teams, 2 baseball, 1 lacrosse, 1 softball. The coaches of each team have said a little something after each final game. We leave the cooler full of popsicles with the team and step away. We listen and watch as each child smile, proud of their accomplishments, beaming from the praise and recognition, and happy for their teammates. Each player knowing that they accompllished something... mastered something. The emphasis was not on the team's records, though they are very aware of their wins and losses.

And it is a part of real life: not everyone wins, not everyone gets a goal, not everyone reaches first base. They are happy because they learned how to pitch or be a catcher or to handle a lacrosse stick. They mastered something. It is theirs to have forever.

Check out these sources for thoughts on the importance of mastery:

Daniel Goleman and his book Emotional Intelligence

Edward Hallowell and his book Childhood Roots to Adult Happiness

Carol Dweck and her book Mindset:; The New Psychology of Success

School's Out ..... YAHOO! ..... I think?

School officially ended for our kids this past week. I really think that I am looking forward to summer more than they are. No more lunches to make, no more class projects, no more field trips on which to drive, no more conferences, no more cupcakes to make and send in for this, that and the other thing... just plain old summer fun, playing capture the flag and kick the can, riding bikes all day, swimming at the lake and ocean until waterlogged, ice cream and slushes, sleeping in the back yard in a tent, building a tree fort. And on and on... Yippie!... Well...

What I have to remember is the transition: the 2 weeks it takes the kids to get used to "no schedule", and no structure (for the most part) and none of the formality that kept them busy or occupied. The "I'm bored" happens. The sibling fights 'cause now they see a lot of each other and the food consumption... ooooooeeeee!

So, 2 weeks. Then summer fun really begins. Then you can lay in the back yard with the kids at 10 PM and listen and watch the light show... Aaahhhh, summer!

Dad remembers, too

As all Dads know, we are last to get our say. I remember feeling what the kids are feeling as we approach the school. I had a day similar to this when changing schools in the 6th grade. The transition took me from the more sheltered parochial school environment to the public elementary near my home. I was a shy kid to begin with and went to my first class with butterflies. Of course, everyone was already there and class had begun and, of course, the door (closed) was at the front of the room and, of course, upon entering, all activity stopped and all eyes were on me. The science teacher, Mr. Reed asked my name, said hello and told me to find a seat.


I uncomfortably scanned the room for a spot. An unexpected savior swooped in to help, a team-mate from Little League baseball. It never occured to me that they would be there. From the back of the room, I heard "Hey Devin, sit back here!". I smiled and threw them an "up" nod and did my best to say with body language, "Oh, hey guys. There you are... Yeah, I was just taking a second to check out the scene.".


Moments like these stick with you. I still remember the voice from the back (and who it belonged to), the class room, and the teacher. I am identifying now with what my kids are experiencing and feeling. And I know that a call from a friend or a smile can make a world of difference. I am happy for them. And happy to realize that part of being a "good" parent is remembering what it is like to be a kid.

The Walk to a New School

So, it will be a new school, again, this coming fall. For some, this is number 5. There have been many changes in this family’s journey. Prepped for several months for this change and still, how can they not be nervous. Breakfast is done they are in the yard killing time shooting hoops. I shout out the window that it's time to head up for our visit and tour. We are so fortunate that we can walk to school. Up a hill across one street and there it is. They want to run. I say ok and to wait at the street crossing. I (Mom) am a little nervous, too. Will the moms like me? We cross and their pace slows. They start to look around. They have been here tons of times. There shouldn't be hesitation. The reason for being here today is different, though. The questions start... questions of anxiety. What homeroom am I going to be in? What if I can't find my homeroom? Can we bring our lunch? Is this a "nut free" school? Will I know anyone in my class? Which teacher will I have? Will anyone like me? I even start to feel their anxiety. I start trying to answer the questions, getting a bit frustrated because I do not have all the answers. We turn the corner and there is the front door... people smiling. I realize that I do not have to answer. These are just questions of anxiety and they will see soon be answered.

We walk thru the halls. For me it feels good within minutes. They will learn here, they will grow here, they will be challenged here, they will fail here, they will have friends here... They will be safe. They will be connected. And all questions are answered.

They start to smile, they see kids they know, the teachers say hi and invite them in. Tell them they are happy they will be in their classes. They see bright classrooms, a library, a gym, and a stage. Ways for them to express themselves. In some classes the students even call out. "Hey G", "Hi George", and "Yo Geo". Z comments later that "it seemed like they wanted me to be there. I saw kids my age and kids I knew calling my name.". And from C, "WOW, kids I know or think that I can get to know are here. And first grade looks cool".

Exhale..................